The Power of Priorities: How Discovering What Truly Matters Changed My Life

For those of you who’ve known me, or have followed my journey for a while, you’ll be well aware of the constant changes in my life. From Cornwall to the Lake District, to Scotland. Corportate to childcare to hospitality. Back when my marriage ended, and my ‘comfortable’ life unravelled, I made a promise to myself to not settle for things that didn’t truely make my happy. The problem was, at that time I had no idea what would make me happy.

The last few years of my life have been an incredible adventure, a discovery of myself, and ultimately finding what truly brings me joy. I’ve tried different jobs, I’ve travelled, I’ve helped run a business, I’ve grown my skills and my confidence, the whole time taking note of which bits I’ve enjoyed, and which bits I didn’t.

I’ve often been told that I always seems to land on my feet, or things always work out for me. But the truth is, I’ve worked hard to get to the position I’m in. It’s taken a lot of difficult decisions, trial and error, and just giving things a go with no idea if they would work out. I’ve pushed myself and gone way out of my comfort zone time and time again, but it’s all part of the journey. I’m aware that this isn’t something everyone can do. People have mortgages, families, or other people they may need to support. But there are always things you can do to add more joy to your life.

Life is fleeting, and it will pass you by before you know it. I think it’s absolutely worth taking the time to sit down and truly figure out what is important to you, and focus on that. From here, things do start to fall into place.

Landing My Dream Job

I’ve have been trying to find a job that suits me, since leaving the corporate world over 6 years ago. After moving back from Edinburgh to my parents, I had time to really think about what I wanted to do, and only apply for jobs that I genuinly thought I would enjoy.

My friend Eva sent me a link to an operations job at an ultra marathon company, based in Barnsley. After some research, it seemed like a pretty exciting opportunity and something that brought together so many of my skills from different jobs and hobbies throughout my life. Project managment, events, the outdoors, skiing in the Arctic. My crazy adventures and wide variety of jobs, made me the perfect fit for a job a never knew existed.

Just over 2 months in, and I couldn’t be happier, the people are amazing, the work is rewarding and it’s all linked to helping people enjoy the outdoors and experience incredible adventures. If I hadn’t followed my passions over the last few years, I would never have gained all the skills and experiences that I feel ultimately landed me my job.

It All Falls Into Place

When I started writing this, I was reading back through a previous post. A mere couple of months ago I was talking about my anxieties for the future…what I was going to do for a job, where I was going to live, and ultimately, what was next. Now not only have I started a new job, but I’m also buying a house. Since starting work, I’ve been living out of a suitcase between my parents, my boyfriends mums, and my friends house, so I’m very ready to settle down and have somewhere to call our own.

One of the biggest wants for me, was being able to incorporate the outdoors and adventure into daily life. I’ve not only managed to find this in my job, but the new house is out in the middle of nowhere, with forests, reservoirs and all the walks you could ever want on your doorstep. Having a furry friend in the family also means daily dog walks, so there is absolutely no excuse for not getting outside.

Having a little more structure has allowed me to finally get back to the gym, and to get out on a few more mini adventures. Though there may have been less mountains than we’d have liked, thanks to injuring my knee again and having to go back for another surgery. However, now this is out the way (for now – looks like ACL recontruction is still on the cards) I can hopefully start to build my strength and fitness back up, and we can start to getting some bigger adventures booked in.

There have been many times over the past few years where I thought I was never going to figure things out. Everything felt so turbulent and I was overwhelmed with choices about what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be. I nearly had my year in New Zealand, which I think I would have loved, but I would have mainly been doing it because I didn’t know what else to do. Taking the time to slow down, reflect and truly work out what what important, has ultimately led me to a pretty ideal place in my life.

Tools for Life

This may sound a little dramatic, but the following things have really helped me to discover more about myself, work out the area’s of my life I should be focusing on, and be grateful for the things I already have.

• Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you: Whether it’s friends, or your partner, the people you spend your time with have a huge impact on your life and how you feel. Over the last few years, I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on both friendships and relationships and have removed myself from circles and situations that didn’t add to my life. I distanced myself from people who always brought negativity and drama, who never wanted to learn or help themselves, who I came away from feeling drained. I’m not saying ditch your friends when they’re having a hard time. But there’s a difference between difficult periods in life, and just being a generally negative person. Think about how you feel after speaking to someone or spending time with them. Positive? Negative? Do you build each other up? Are they excited for you when good things happen?

• Clear out your social media: An extension of the above…Follow people who bring you joy, inspire you to be better and motivate you in the ways that matter to you. This is going to be different for everyone. But for me, only having people on my feed who are genuine, make’s a big difference to how I feel. You don’t need to go on a huge unfollowing spree, but maybe try muting some of the people who’s posts make you feel negative rather than positive.

• Journaling and gratitude lists: Every morning I try to write out a list of three things that I’m grateful for. I find that focussing on this in a morning sets me up with a more positive mindset for the day. Journaling has also been a great way to get my thoughts out and reflect. I don’t do it religiously, but always feel better when I do.

• The wheel of life: I first read about the wheel of life in The Miracle Morning, but it’s something that I’ve gone back to time and time again. It’s a tool to help you assess different areas of your life, to help you figure out where you want to focus your energy. Every 6 months or so, I rate each area of my life out of 10 giving a brief decscription as to why I’ve given it that score. Then I write down a couple of bullet points of things I can do to improve it. From here, I pick a couple of area’s I want to focus on, and write out some more detailed goals in this area. There are different versions of the wheel, with different categorisations, but there’s no right or wrong way, it’s just whatever fits best for you.

• Try to see the positives: In the past, I would have described myself as a pessimistic person. I would always expect the worst possible outcomes so that I wasn’t dissapointed, and I’d get worked up about things that didn’t really matter. This resulted in feeling pretty negative most of the time. I’ve since been trying to have a more positive outlook. I allow myself to get excited about things that might, or might not, happen, I laugh off the little things that used to annoy me, I take time to step back and appreciate what I have and where I am. It may seem like small changes, but it’s had a big impact on the way I feel about life.

• Set attainable goals: I’ve always found that having direction helps me focus on where to spend my energy. I try to set goals at least every 6 months, and go back and update and reprioritise. Mine are usually focussed around money, work, fitness and skills I want to develop. They move and adapt depending on what’s happening in my life, but there’s something incredibly satisifying in ticking things off, and achieving outcomes you thought might never be possible.

I am well aware that my journey is not one that everyone is able to go on. It’s not always possible to make big changes, start over, or have the time to try multiple different paths. But, there are always little things you can do to make the most of the precious time we have.