Sometimes, even when everything is going well, I feel lost. I seem to have this constant niggle in the back of my mind asking, ‘what’s next?’. The reality is, I’m very content with where my life is at right now. I’m in the place I want to be, I have incredible friends around me, I’m saving money and I have the time to get out and do all of things I enjoy. So what is it that’s making me think about change?
I’ve previously talked quite a bit about the societal pressures of being in your 30’s (you can read more about it here), and these thoughts of settling down, having a family, a steady job, a house…are all still at the back of my mind. Sometimes it can be hard to distinguish between what I really want, and what I feel I should want.
I feel that in the past, I spent a lot of time chasing things that I thought would make me happy, rather than focussing on the small moments of joy. I hadn’t taken the time to figure out what was really important to me, or how I wanted to live my life.
What is Happiness?
Happiness is not the same for everyone, your ‘happiness’ will look very different from mine. It’s important to remember that happiness can’t be a constant state. It’s not just something that you find and that’s it…you’re forever happy. You have to have the lows, to enjoy the highs, or else life would be one big plateau. I’ve also found that what makes you happy is going to change over time, and that’s ok.
I can say with 100% certainty, that I am currently the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of work on myself to get here. It’s not just been changing my physical location, job or relationships that got me to where I am, it’s been changing my mindset and how I see life that’s had the biggest impact.
If you don’t already, I’d highly recommend following @thejoyprojectcoach on Instagram and checking out the different workshops and coaching she has on offer. Meg is a wealth of knowledge when it comes to helping find your way in life and figuring out what’s truly important to you. I was lucky enough to join one of her group ‘Joy Toolbox’ workshops a few months back which focussed on tools to help with mindset, resilience, decision making and more. A little guidance can go a long way when it comes to taking steps towards your goals in life, whatever they may be.
I’ve found that I’m most content when I’ve got a good balance. I’m on top of my life admin, works not been too stressful and I’ve had the time and energy to get out on adventures on my days off and around shifts. Having a really strong network of friends around me has also had a big impact on how positive my life has been lately. Spending quality time with people who are on a similar wavelength to me, that I can have deep conversations with, no stress..no drama.
Things I do to Try focus on What Matters
When I get to a point where I feel I’m starting to stress about my lack of a plan, I take a step back and try to focus on where I am right now, and what matters at this moment in time. A few things I do to help with this are…
- Daily gratitude lists: Every morning, I try to write down three things that I’m grateful for, big or small. I’ve found that this is a really great way to start my day and helps me to appreciate what I already have in my life.
- Journaling: Getting my thoughts down on paper can really help to clear my head. It can also help me to see clarity in certain situations when I may be feeling confused or I’m struggling to make a decision.
- Do the things I’m putting off: I often find that when I have things I’m putting off (replying to certain emails, capturing content, tidying my workspace) my thoughts are taken up with worrying about them. Sitting down and ticking jobs off the list, can free up the space to do the things you enjoy doing, stress free.
- Books: Reading has been one of the biggest factors in helping me to figure out what I want from my life. Even when something seems so glaring obvious, reading it in someone else’s words can help things click into place. Some of my favourite books that have helped me in this way are:
- Conversations: For me, spending time with people that I can have open conversations with is one of the best ways to learn and grow. Hearing things from someone else viewpoint, understanding topics you may have not understood before and discussing different opinions. I feel very lucky to have friends that I can have these kinds of conversations with, as well being able to help about life and help support each other.
- Saying no: Learning that it’s ok to say no to things was a real turning point for me. I’ve always been a people pleaser, so found this pretty difficult. But it’s important to say no to opportunities that don’t align with you, to things that ultimately you don’t want to do. It’s ok to put yourself first.
- Enjoying the moment: Sometimes, you have to just stop and take it all in. Breathe in the fresh air and take a second to appreciate everything that’s good in your life.
The Next Step
I’ve been speaking to my friends quite a bit about what the next step in my life might look like, as it doesn’t come naturally to me to not have a plan. Currently, I feel like I have no really direction, though I’m starting to accept that this is ok.
One of the things that I’ve come to realise is a blocker for me moving forwards, is my relationship with money. I’ve always thought that it was pretty healthy. I’ve never been in debt, I’ve got savings behind me and my monthly outgoings are pretty low. But what I’ve found is that I’m not enjoying things as much as I could be, because I’m so worried about spending money and have negative feelings associated with it. This is definitely something I want to explore more and try to address. That doesn’t mean going out and spending everything I have, it’s just ressassing my relationship and building different thought processes around it.
Getting to a point where I feel I could spend some of my money without falling apart, would definitely open up a whole host of options for me. But I keep reminding myself that I don’t need to make a decision right now. So I’m just going to enjoy the summer and see how things play out!
Happy adventuring x
Lisa Outdoors 
Dear Lisa,
thanks for the blog and your openness 🤗 happiness is a precious commodity that we all strive for. It can manifest itself in various ways and is something individual for each person. To be happy means to experience contentment and joy, whether through success, love, good health, or simply the small things in everyday life.
Finding happiness 🍀 in life is a personal journey. Everyone has different ideas of what happiness means to them. For some, it is achieving professional goals or financial security, while for others, it lies in spending time with family and loved ones.
However, there are also commonalities that many people find happiness in. These include interpersonal relationships, a positive mindset, gratitude, and self-acceptance. Happiness often lies in the small moments of life, such as hearty laughter, a warm hug, or a beautiful sunset.
It is important to recognize that happiness is not a final destination but a process😊 It requires mindfulness and the ability to live in the present moment. Often, it is the simple things that bring us happiness, like taking a walk in nature or reading a good book.
Ultimately, it is our own responsibility to strive for happiness and cultivate it in our lives. Being happy means accepting the ups and downs of life and making the most of them. It also requires a willingness to do good to others and share love.
In a world often marked by stress 🫨 and busyness, we should consciously take the time to look inward and discover what truly makes us happy. Because in the end, it is not about what we possess but how we live our lives and how we touch other people’s lives 🤗
Kind regards
Gerold
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